Chatting the other day with a newer friend, Sean, someone who thinks I border on ditzy because I'm so happy. He believed my life to be perfect because I dwell on the good, and limit discussion of anything bad.
Our conversation was death, because I had to put my best 4-legged friend down just the other day.
(My hubby requested I do it on my own, altho he did reluctantly offer to "man up" if I needed him. According to him, he doesn't do death as good as me. I went alone with my dog and sat on the vet's office floor with him until he was gone. And I cried.)
I recalled how btwn August 2008 and September 2009, I had 4 significant deaths in my family: Hubby's grandma was the first, then my oldest brother just 2 months later, then hubby's father 2 months later and my best friend 8 months later.
Sean's mouth literally dropped. "I had no idea!"
Then, I threw out that actually, the rough patch started in May 2008 when my 17 YO daughter was diagnosed with optic neuritis and a few weeks later, I had to put one of my cats down.
All Sean could say was, "WOW, I had NO idea!"
And I replied, "Of course not. I concentrate on good and let it cover the bad. Every smile, every laugh reminds me of how much I still have to be grateful for each moment. Never believe you truly know me; you see, but you don't know."