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Walking on sunshine. Always tacky.

Monday, November 21, 2005

In search of...a real bra
Yesterday involved a trip into Victoria's Secret. They sent me a card for a free pair of panties, so I figured I'd look around for a new bra.

Huh. Nothing but pre-foamed over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders.

Not a single bra that didn't stand out to THERE already. Unless I'm blind.

The perky, young sales gal asked me, "What can I help you find today?"

"I'm looking for a front-closure, non-bust-enhancing bra."

Miss Perky didn't comprehend. "Oh, we have LOTS of push-up bras! Is this for a special occasion?"

"Nope, I don't want a push-up bra. I'm married, I don't need to fake a guy out anymore."

She was confused. Truly. "What kind of bra do you want?"

"A front-closure, no-foam-included bra. Do you have any of those?"

"No, I don't think we do. Is there anything else I can help you with?"

"OK, how about a no-foam-included bra with a regular back closure?"

"Yes! We have those!" And she leads me to a tiny display of bras that look, literally, like MY FIRST BRA. You know, the type worn by 7-year-old girls that you get with the matching panties at Kmart.

Now it was my turn. "Ah, no."

"Sorry, that's all we have then. Maybe you can find the bra you want on our Web site? Are you on the Internet?"

Yep, kiddo, I've been on the Net probably since you were excitedly picking out that bra set right there with your mommy.

"Yes, but I'll just go to Penney's instead. I'm sure you know how important it is to TRY ON a bra before buying it."

"Oh, OK. Can I help you find anything else today?"

"Sure, I have this card for a free pair of panties. Where are they?"

"Oh, we're totally out of those. No rainchecks or substitutions. Sorry!"

Victoria's Secret sucks. Even for freebies.

What I'm reading now: Health benefits for gay families hinge on lawsuits


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